Superiority Complex

Asserting superiority is something we all do whether we are conscious of it or not. In situations where people feel threatened or like they have to prove themselves to someone, they act in a certain manner that strives to show them in a positive light. Asserting power can become manipulative when we realize we purposely act a certain way to get a certain response. If you purposely do something to emit a specific reaction, you are 'seeking the power.'

"Wearing the pants," "whipped" etc. are great phrases and we can all think of people to fill in the blanks. Self-introspection is important, because in doing this, you can determine whether you are unconsciously treating people in a detrimental fashion. People who have the 'upper-hand' in a relationship often don't realize that they assert power over their significant other. The other person is submissive in the relationship and by being insecure and asserting power, it in turn makes them insecure, which leads to shaky ground..

Asserting superiority is in direct correlation to feeling insufficient to another. Everyone feels insecure at times and people handle it in different ways. Power contenders are always striving to gain bravado and outdo others around them.

I believe that asserting power is mostly done when one person wishes to obtain a certain response from the other, ex: guilt tripping, acting short or mad through text. When people care, they react to the manipulation put on them and as emotional beings, we know this.

From time to time, I have caught myself feeling insecure and attempting to gain superiority by asserting power in a situation. However, through trial, you find error, and you realize not only is it wrong to do, it doesn't work in the long run. Personally, I find people who hold this superiority over their heads are the people that get called stuck up or rude. Insecurity will not be minimized by feeling as though you are better than others or have power over an individual. I think by doing this, people are not only showing themselves in an undesirable light to others, but they are marginalizing themselves from people who you could have had more in common with. Being yourself and being completely okay with it is the most important, beautiful thing.

It is unnecessary to assert superiority over others. The power comes from not having to do so, or consciously realizing the insecurity and improving on it. Good things come from not manipulating others and from being yourself completely, whether people like you for it or not.

A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority; and you must deal with him from that point of view.
Alfred Adler

Confidence and superiority: It's the usual fundamentalist stuff: I've got the truth, and you haven't.
Jeanette Winterson